Friday, April 15, 2011

Refusal of the Call

Good Morning Birth Peeps,

The Call inevitably calls us away from “home,” that is, away from at least one aspect of what we were raised to believe, or what our family and friends would approve of, who we think we are, and away from what has been comfortable for us in the past. If we were not “called away” we would still be doing what we have always done and believed… and while this is part of the mundane life we all must live to get on in the world… if we are still “at home,” we are not actively in a hero’s journey.

Part of the hero’s journey must include Refusal of the Call. Naturally, this Call to “leave home” is disturbing or even alarming, and thus invokes the necessary “Refusal of the Call.” This is when we begin to feel nostalgia for our roots; we rationalize and argue for common sense ; and we weigh “what will people think” against taking the risk to follow our soul’s longing. In “Refusal,” we hesitate to speak or act in response to the call—and are almost compelled to revert to old, familiar patterns of behaving.

Why Refuse the Call to Love? Because leaving home activates the human’s biggest fear: abandonment, loss of approval, being alone, or being blamed if the journey “doesn’t turn out well.” On some level we know that undertaking this journey will change us at a core level, and therefore our relationships, and this is a kind of psychic/social “death.” We fear death, even physical, social, and psychic little deaths.

And because we don’t always feel ready, worthy, prepared enough to answer the Call to something new. It may be wise to wait, to grow spiritual strength, to gain information or skills that will insure our ability to endure and Return from the Ordeal.

Consider times in your life when you Heard the Call and Refused the Call. How did you know to wait rather than leap impulsively into the adventure? What, or who, would you have had to leave behind? During the Refusal, what happened?

Everything is exactly as it should be, the only way it could be in this moment. If it is time to wait and grow Soul and skills, then do this wholeheartedly.

Tomorrow, we will consider Answering the Call.

In-Love,
Pam

3 comments:

  1. Oh Pam.

    I am in tears reading this, because it describes my calling very accurately, indeed my written response was 'will I have to do this alone?'

    Yet the rewards are manifest, and my soul IS immeasurably enriched for the journey I have undertaken, and continue to tread.

    Thankyou again for your wisdom

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  2. "And because we don’t always feel ready, worthy, prepared enough to answer the Call to something new. It may be wise to wait, to grow spiritual strength, to gain information or skills that will insure our ability to endure and Return from the Ordeal."

    This is where I have been for two years now (wow...when said out loud it sounds even longer than it feels!) In the beginning I fought it, feeling angry and frustrated that the dream just beyond the horizon could not be mine. Of late, however, I do see that I am gaining spiritual strength and am gaining key information and skills for the journey. I have become a different mentor through this "ripening" experience...learning to let go of exact outcomes and becoming a detective in observing the way my process unfolds. As in labor, remaining open and flexible is a skill that provides tangible help for the journey.

    Thank you for putting words to my process, Pam. xo

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  3. The other day as I was walking along the edge of it all, where mountain meets sea I was reflecting upon the Journey. I was amazed at how many times we refuse the call, over and over... and over again in our lives. I am reminded at something you have said before, that we finally answer the call when it becomes easier to answer than when it does to refuse.

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