Friday, October 21, 2011


Good Morning Birth Peeps,
This morning I received a thoughtful email from Katherine who was wondering about how "Refusal of the Call" played into Answering our Calls during the childbearing year. The "Refusal of the Call" is an important and necessary part of the hero's journey, it is an inevitable part.

As I have explained, the Call to Love, to Remember Who we are and live our authentic life, is coming all the time. It is not One Call, but a steady stream of Invitations. Most of the time--using the analogy of our phone technology--we have our inner Ear turned off, turned outward to the world, or put on our "Call Waiting." Why is this? Think about it in relation to your own life. What would change, what would it mean about you IF you actually answered the Call from Love to Love in your ordinary life? The Ego and the Judge Voice within begin to chatter and keep you in your former place -- of safety, following some Rule... protecting your boundaries...

At some point, a Call gets through and when it does it excites our passion, it wakes us up. We have a new vision. At first all we can see is what we will "get."

But then when the striving to achieve the goal begins, we realize the price, the work, both inner and in the physical world it may and will take to even strive for the goal.... and it might all be in vain. We might not be able to achieve it anyway...

And then the Voices of Doubt, which is the inner Voice of the Judge whose job it is to keep us in our old place, not take too many risks, stay in line, and avoid failing (again)--begins talking us (the inner Child) down off the high mesa where we actually saw a new possibility. 

And this is the necessary part of the Call, the Refusal of the Call.

I have to return to the archetypal world of characters to explain this, it is how I understand it. It is the inner-Child who first hears the Call, who sees the new vision or remembers her purpose. It is the inner-Child, not the Adult archetype, that actually begins the hero's journey. It is through completing the arduous tasks of the journey that she becomes "more adult." With this in mind, it makes sense that the Child, at first excited when quickened by the Call--suddenly realizes, "Wait a minute! If I answer this Call, I will have to 'leave home,' What if I don't know enough? I am not ready. I need to study more first, get bigger, get a map..." Whatever it is... if the Child begins the journey without it, she may indeed be overcome, unprepared and fail in some way that she senses would be harmful.

So the Child hesitates; she Refuses the Call, at least for now. There is also a bit of the Love Warrior here ... foreseeing or overseeing Tasks of Preparation so this Child-Warrior will have a chance at succeeding.

I don't like to romanticize or over-simplify the real inner-work of the hero's journey. This Refusal is not a cop-out, it is not a failure in itself. This Refusal can be a process that takes a few days or weeks of "reconsidering" while weighing the risks and benefits and making a plan. Sometimes it looks like the would-be hero has fizzled altogether; before the hero can undertake her Vision or what she was born to do, she may need a decade of undoing old agreements or learning new tasks.

But now we return to our topic, Birth as a Hero's Journey. If our imaginary would-be hero is a pregnant woman, she doesn't have a decade to sort it out. She has a Vision, she hears a Call.... and there are mere months to Answer, to Prepare, to make the Descent Into Laborland.... 

This is our Question, Birth Peeps. This is Our Call.
How do we Mentor the initiates who hear a Call, how do we assist them through their Tasks of the Refusal so they don't miss this golden opportunity. Birth is a profound rite of passage, it only comes once or a few times in a life time. We also need to really look into WHY it is a profound rite of passage, and not let ourselves be lulled asleep with the comforting and familiar cliche phrase.

I am enjoying the emails I am receiving from those of you who are writing and living your Heart's Question. Those of you who have taken up the practice of the Heart's Question, or your Deepest Question, will Refuse your Call at least once if not a dozen times today. Good... use your Refusal to examine the Refusal. When you understand your own process of Refusal deeply, you will have the Wisdom and compassion to help the initiates who come your way to understand their own.

In-Love with my own Refusals,
I am,

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Your Call is an Invitation to Awaken the Love Warrior

Dear Birth Peeps,

When we prepare for birth as a hero’s journey, we begin with hearing our Call and answering this Call (whether we are aware of this or not). This Call—to act, to know, to do something you have not done before and that may even seem out of reach!--comes from Love itself; it is an Invitation to love yourself, to become your own Love Warrior. . . a Birth Warrior.

When I say the Call invokes you to act or to “do,” it is not necessarily to “do something” for the sake of achieving, let’s say, your fantasy fabulous birth or any other personal goal (although by Grace our actions may lead--or seem to contribute--to that desired result. This Call is answered from our Soul, not from our ego, not to Get something for ourselves. We are compelled to answer the Call, and in so doing, there is no attachment to outcome, there is no pride, no getting.  

It is about Doing What Needs to Be Done Next—and nothing extra. 

The Calls to Love and to Be and to remember who we are are coming to us all the time. The Call—to Love yourself, to bring your True Love to this moment of your life, to Be authentic—is coming to you as you read this blog, and again, with your next breath! We wee, but busy and important, humans often don’t tune into it because we are distracted in our hectic lives and world.

There are infinite ways to be called; the Invitation might come to you suddenly almost as an inner whisper in an unexpected moment, or in a dream, or one might be awakened by a call in the midst of the Ordeal of labor or while reading an article.

The Call is not about achieving, it is about your heart’s longing. 

Oriah Mountain Dreamer describes her own Call in her book, The Call, as “a long wail of my heart [that] opened to its own longing.” She goes on to say, “Our longing may be just the beginning, just a door into a deeper knowledge of what we are and why we are here, but it is a necessary beginning. We cannot go deeper into our lives or the world [or I interject, into our childbearing year as a hero] until the heart has had its say, until the heart has been heard.”

You have to Hear your Call before you can Answer it, that is, before you can Live the answer. 

Women are often directed to: “listen to your self,” or to “listen to your body.” This advice sounds sage, but! most modern women have never been taught to meditate, contemplate, to listen-in, or how to differentiate the feeling of intuition from the feeling of fear, or their own sense of danger that requires action from everyone else’s imagined fear.

Knowing your Heart’s Question is central to preparing for birth as a hero’s journey.

One way to tune into your Call is to tune into your heart’s longing. If that conditioned part of you says, “You can’t do that because….”, or “So-and-so will get mad if you do that…”, keep listening. . . Is this Voice of Doubt or caution coming from your Love Warrior or your Inner Child that wants to please and avoid getting in trouble or grounded!?

Listen deeply, earnestly, patiently. Feel … find your heart’s longing and intuition… Listen within for that one heartfelt Question that is tucked away. This step awakens your Huntress archetype.

Once you have it, write in on the wall of your heart, or on your bathroom mirror, and say it to yourself often during ordinary moments of every day—Don’t wait until you are meditating, or in a crisis, or in labor to remember your longing, your Question…

Ask yourself your Question during ordinary moments every day. Live the answer. 

Your Heart’s Question is a living question which means you are compelled to live the answer in any given moment—even this moment—not just in labor. There are no wordy, logical answers to this question—you will manifest the answer with your whole being in the way you breathe, walk, talk, and live. Living the answer to your deepest question will form new habits of thinking and responding--and cultivate the Birth Warrior in you.

A few Examples:
What does this moment need?
How am I opening to this moment?
How am I bringing my Love to this moment?
When I speak my truth, what do I say next?

Please, share your Heart's Question, your Living Question, here... to help inspire others. Maybe you have had a life-changing experience by taking up this practice... please inspire others with your story.